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Back to Chat The Art of Orgasm Denial

orgasmdenial3Orgasm denial (also known as orgasm control, edging, peaking, surfing) is a sexual practice in which a person is kept in the plateau phase of the human sexual response cycle for an extended length of time. Depending on the nature of the game, they may be allowed an orgasm at the end (in which case, the orgasm is generally much stronger than normal), or deliberately denied one, either by deflation (in a male) or by granting only a ruined orgasm, in which case they will generally feel strong feelings of sexual frustration and submission…

An alternative form of orgasm denial is known as erotic sexual denial, this is the prevention of genital stimulation, either for an extended period of time or separate from a scene. One form of erotic sexual denial is the reduction or deprivation of ALL genital stimulation. To ensure a complete absence of genital stimulation, a chastity device may be used as a physical barrier to genital touch or to prevent full erection.
If the submissive partner whose orgasm is being controlled, is put into physical restraints (often referred to as tie and tease denial), this can better control the orgasm. Another possibility is for one partner to help produce multiple orgasms in the other.

Orgasm control can involve either one person being in control of the other’s orgasm, or a person delaying their own orgasm during sex or masturbation. To experience orgasm control, any method of sexual stimulation can be used – for example, manual, oral, intercourse, or with sex toys – either alone or by means of one or more active partners. orgasmdenial2
In a typical play scene, a Dominant will stimulate a submissive, gradually bringing them up to the point high in the plateau phase where an orgasm is actually building, and will then reduce the level of stimulation to just below that needed to trigger the orgasm.

When I say ‘stimulate’, denial play doesn’t even HAVE to require contact. A simple, effective instruction not to touch yourself or not to come without permission can be enough to drive a submissive wild. It’s that whole ‘wanting something you can’t have’ effect (this is a great way for online Dominants/submissives to play together).
Orgasm denial is a powerful form of control, both physically and psychologically. A Dominant knows how much their submissive wants to orgasm, they also know that they will give their all to fight that need, because they crave their Dominant’s approval more than their own pleasure.

By carefully varying the intensity and speed of stimulation, and by practising with the same partner to learn their responses, a person can be held in the highly aroused state near orgasm. This process may be repeated as desired, orgasmdenialbut at some point repetition may cause the urge to orgasm to become overwhelming. When a partner eventually provides enough stimulation to achieve an orgasm, it may be stronger than usual due to the increased tension and arousal that builds up during the extended stimulation.

Since orgasm control prolongs the experience of powerful sexual sensations occurring during the final build-up to orgasm, the physical demands of being kept or keeping oneself in this highly excited state for an extended time can induce a pleasurable, almost euphoric state, and at times creates changes within an individual’s perceived consciousness.

Pretty heady stuff, no? The feeling of having such control over another or indeed giving that control is powerful indeed. For me, personally, orgasm denial is an art form. Playing a submissive’s mind/body like a finely tuned instrument in order to elicit intense physical and mental responses is a joy almost beyond comparison. At the alternate end of the scale having a Dominant who is capable of making you feel that They know your mind/body better than you do yourself…well, that’s art. orgasmdenial3

The key to successful orgasm denial play is patience and practice. If you’re a Dominant, learn your submissive’s triggers and responses. If you’re a submissive, it’s common knowledge by now that I’m not a fan of topping from the bottom, but feedback before/after a scene is always a good idea. Let your Dominant learn/know how to get the most from you, the greater your submission, the deeper your Dominant’s approval.

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