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Back to Culture An Interview with Jacky Donovan

just_desserts_cover_blueInstant Whips & Dream Toppings is the true life dom rom com story of Jacky Donovan. I devoured it in one sitting and could have happily headed back for seconds! Well written, deliciously witty throughout and a unique, personal insight into the world of a successful, professional Dominatrix. I caught up with the literaturely gifted Mistress herself to find out her views on the book and the world of BDSM…

I thoroughly enjoyed your book! It’s refreshingly honest and captivating. What made you first decide to share your story?
I’m glad you really enjoyed it, thank you. I had a lot of fun writing it and recalling the crazy roleplays with my submissive clients yet a lot of heartache and soul-searching as I wrote about my rollercoaster of a personal life. I first decided to share my story when “Batman” came to see me, an unprepossessing client who had a – to my mind, anyway – particularly strange fantasy he wanted to play out. After the session with him I decided I had to capture the strange occurrences in my life and share them.

Describe your book in 3 words…
1. Shockinglysexplicitlyraunchy
2. Humorouslybizarrelyunique
3. Eroticallyromanticallyfuelled
Is that cheating?! I’m used to playing by my own rules. And, as you find in my book, I love wordplay – it’s like foreplay for the mind.

The best thing about being a bad ass Mistress is…
The sense of empowerment I get from having submissive clients adore me and come to visit me time after time is incredible. Getting paid for doing something I genuinely enjoy is a hugely powerful aphrodisiac. I never said that about all the years I worked as a high-powered Operations Director in the IT world ! I just wish my school careers adviser had suggested the option of becoming a Dominatrix to me all those years ago  Added to which it’s the only job I know where the ruder you are to a client, the more likely they are to come back! Humiliation is high on the agenda for many.

And the worst…
My biggest source of frustration is the large proportion of time wasters who call, sound all authentic and excited and then don’t turn up. In fact, the more excitable they are on the phone and the more questions they ask, the less likely they are to appear. And I don’t know if this applies to real life, and I’m not saying they make lousy workers or husbands, but people called James are the most unreliable clients of all. I’ve worked out that, out of every twelve Jameses who contact me, only one of them ever actually appears. If you or your partner are called James and you could perhaps shed some light on why this might be, then please get in touch with me via BDSMTalk and explain, because I’d really love to know…

When I think of BDSM I think of…
The erotic feel of my black PVC catsuit and thighlength boots; the reaction of my clients as they experience the sensation of my long fingernails either teasing or tormenting them; the satisfaction of knowing I can lure a client under my spell and stretch their boundaries while having them beg for even more; the pleasure I take from giving mental or physical pain and, with it, adrenalin-fuelled pleasure; my curiosity in wondering what the next client will want… and whether their session will be the start of another chapter for my next book!

What do you think people’s most common misperception of BDSM is?
I think the media sadly tend to portray it as spanking, whipping and pain; and the clients as seedy men in dirty rainmacs. Both aspects are far from the truth. For me BDSM is more about the psychological side of things – getting inside someone’s head and exploring their deepest and darkest desires whilst tormenting them in a powerfully stimulating way gives both me and my clients a terrific high. For sure many enjoy pain but it isn’t the core driving factor that leads them to me.

What’s your opinion of 50 Shades of Grey and the hype surrounding it?
I have to admit to not enjoying 50 Shades at all and continue to be stunned by the hype it generates. BUT its success annoyed me so much as my own book was loitering half finished on my laptop and I was sure I could do better, so I dusted my autobiography off, finished it, found an agent and publisher. So I guess I have 50 Shades to thank for the mental kicking that Mistress received which spurred her on to finish Instant Whips and Dream Toppings: A true-life dom rom com!instant whips

If you were going to a desert island for six months and could only take 3 items from your dungeon what would they be and why? Assuming you would have a ‘Man Friday’!
Wow, that’s a difficult one! So many things to choose from… I’d have to take one of my female submissives who work with me from time to time. She’d brighten the day with her mischievous behaviour and no doubt play up alongside my Man Friday so that I’d have two of them to tease, punish and toy with. Next I’d take my battery operated ‘electric’ stimulator as that would have both of them leaping and groaning and begging to be allowed to orgasm. And finally, something to please Mistress – a glorious mouthgag I have that has a dildo on the other end of it. My slave lies back with the gag on, I sit on top and they have to move their head up and down, up and down to fuck me with it. Plenty of pleasure for me too. And it keeps them quiet – no talking while gagged 🙂 When can I go please?!

If you could choose anyone past or present to (willingly) punish, who would it be? And what would be your preferred form of punishment?
That one is easy! There was one client of mine who made my life pretty difficult for a while. He’d come round for a session and left me a voicemail afterwards saying I was the worst Mistress he’d ever (not) come across, that my whipping skills were poor and that I was too expensive to boot. Then pestered me with more and more abusive phonecalls. I’d like to track him down, tie him to my A-frame and cane him so hard he’d think twice before complaining that my skills were in any way lacking.

And likewise who would you reward? And how?
The soft side of me would reward Max, a married guy with whom I had an affair for many years. He encouraged me to transform from dull, unhappy and frumpy housewife to sexily erotic, confident and happy Dominatrix, carving out an entirely new life for myself. I’d reward him with my long fingernails – let him feel them caress his naked body until he couldn’t take any more pleasure and orgasmed in ecstasy. It was him who persuaded me to stop biting them so I think he deserves to derive some pleasure from them.

How important do you regard the use of a safeword?
Absolutely imperative! The most crucial quality in the relationship between client and Mistress is that of trust: most of the time I had my clients by the balls and, no matter how much pain I inflicted on them, they had to have faith in me. A perverse faith, but faith nevertheless. And, yes, I’d also give a safeword to the annoying client above before giving him the best caning of his life.

What’s next for you?
I’m working on three entirely different themes right now. One is a novel, the next a sequel to my autobiography and the third a biography of a very interesting individual indeed! Some time soon my agent and I will review which I’m going to focus all my attention on in 2014 so watch this space…

Can you comment on whether you think a person’s occupation contributes in defining the area of BDSM that interests them? i.e. Politician, Judge, CEO etc
As a generalisation, high-powered individuals tend to enjoy being told what to do, not from a pain point of view, but from a control aspect. Many call me their ‘therapist’, light relief from their complex jobs involving bossing huge teams of employees around and making multi-billion dollar decisions. They tell me they enjoy their session with me as they can effectively ‘leave their brain’ at my front door and simply do what they’re told, when they’re told it. Also a lot of public school boys do fit the commonly held view that they enjoy a good spanking or caning. But beyond those examples, no, I can rarely guess what imaginative roleplay fantasy a new client may come up with next. And given previous sessions have included swimming trunks / baked beans / coathangers / nettles / creamcakes / buckets / elastic bungee cords / plastic pinnies and feather dusters… who knows what else someone may enjoy, and why?!

Do you find a majority of your clients come from a particular social class or business environment?
Surprisingly not. I opened my dungeon in Holborn, an area of London renowned for judges and high-flying city types. Certainly I saw my fair share of them but my next client could just as easily be the person sitting next to you right now. Or somebody you pass in the supermarket. I’ve had clients with ages ranging from an 18 year old student to an 83 year old pensioner with incredible war stories. Even an 8 month pregnant woman whose curious tale appears in my book. So it really can be absolutely anyone and that variety is what makes it so fascinating for me.

Apart from your own, could you recommend a book that you think people interested in BDSM would enjoy?
Many years ago a client gave me a copy of Different Loving by William Brame which I remember enjoying for its discussions on different sexual lifestyles. A more serious tone than my own Instant Whips and Dream Toppings for sure but enjoyable nevertheless 🙂

You can follow Jacky on Twitter @Instantwhips and get yourself a copy of her fabulous book here!

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